You’re Not ‘Too Much’—You Just Haven’t Found the Right Space

Have you ever been told you’re too much? Too intense, too emotional, too driven, too deep? Maybe you’ve felt like you take up too much space in conversations, that your passion makes others uncomfortable, or that your energy is overwhelming. If so, you’re not alone.

Many people, especially those who feel deeply and think expansively, have internalised the idea that they need to shrink themselves to fit in. But the truth is, you’re not too much. You just haven’t found the right space yet.

Why Do We Feel ‘Too Much’?

The belief that we are too much often starts early. Maybe you were the child who asked too many questions, who felt emotions deeply, or who spoke up when something felt wrong. Over time, if you were met with eye rolls, dismissive comments, or outright rejection, you may have learned to quiet yourself.

Society often values moderation and conformity. Expressing strong emotions, being deeply introspective, or showing immense enthusiasm can make others uncomfortable, especially if they are not used to that level of depth or passion. As a result, we begin to self-edit, to tone ourselves down, to apologise for taking up space.

But here’s the thing: The world needs intensity. It needs deep thinkers, passionate doers, and people who refuse to accept surface-level living. The problem isn’t you. The problem is that you’re trying to fit into spaces that don’t know how to hold you.

The Problem Isn’t You—It’s the Room You’re In

Imagine a tiger trying to live in a fishbowl. No matter how much it tries to make itself smaller, quieter, or less noticeable, it will always be too big for that space. But take that same tiger and put it in an open landscape, and suddenly, it’s right where it belongs.

You may feel like you don’t fit because the spaces you’ve been in weren’t designed for people like you. If you are deep, thoughtful, passionate, or intense, but are surrounded by those who prefer to keep things light and surface-level, you will always feel like too much. That doesn’t mean you need to become less, it means you need to find a different room.

How to Find the Right Space

1. Stop Apologising for Your Depth

The first step to finding the right space is to stop shrinking yourself. If you love discussing philosophy over small talk, if you feel deeply about the world’s injustices, if you express emotions openly… own that! You are not here to be a watered-down version of yourself to make others comfortable.

2. Seek Out Those Who Speak Your Language

There are people who will get you. The key is to actively seek them out. Join communities that value depth, whether it’s creative circles, philosophical groups, mental health communities, or professional networks that embrace intensity and innovation.

3. Recognise When It’s Time to Walk Away

Not every space is meant for you, and that’s OK. If you constantly feel like you have to explain yourself, dial yourself down, or battle to be understood, it may be time to move on. The right people won’t make you feel like you need to prove your worth… they will recognise it immediately.

Embrace Your Fullness

You are not too much. You are exactly the right amount for the right people, in the right space. The world needs more depth, passion, and intensity, not less! So stop apologising. Stop shrinking. And start seeking the spaces where you can be fully seen, fully heard, and fully you.

If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever been told you’re ‘too much’? How did you handle it? Let’s start a conversation.

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