Your Thoughts Are Lying to You (Sometimes): How to Challenge Cognitive Distortions

Not every thought you have is true. In fact, some are downright unhelpful. They whisper worst-case scenarios, demand perfection, or convince you you’ve failed before you’ve even begun. If you’ve ever spiralled over a small mistake, assumed someone’s silence meant they hated you, or told yourself that you always screw things up… you’re not alone. But here’s the good news: your thoughts are not facts, and you can learn to call them out.

The Brain’s Default: Survival Mode

Our brains weren’t built for modern life, they were built to keep us alive. While we may not be dodging predators anymore, our nervous systems are still on high alert. That’s why we fixate on the negative and anticipate disaster, it’s ancient wiring trying to keep us safe.

Personally, I notice it in myself when something minor goes wrong, an email I missed, a deadline that slips, and suddenly the inner critic pipes up: You’ve let someone down. You’re dropping the ball.  I’ve learned to pause and ask: Is this thought helpful? Or is it just my threat response kicking in?

Understanding this isn’t about blaming your brain, it’s about working with it.

Common Thinking Traps

These patterns of distorted thinking are incredibly common. They’re called cognitive distortions, and they can make the world feel smaller and scarier than it really is.

Catastrophising

Jumping straight to disaster.

“If I mess this up, I’ll lose everything.”

Often, asking “And then what?”  helps to unpack the fear and expose the distortion underneath.

Black-and-white thinking

Seeing everything as success or failure, perfect or ruined.

“If I’m not perfect, I’m failing.”

This shows up often in high achievers. Life happens in the grey, the messy middle, learning to tolerate “good enough” can be a powerful shift.

Overgeneralisation

Taking one negative event and applying it broadly.

“I failed once, so I’ll always fail.”

Often these beliefs stem from earlier experiences when others labelled us unfairly. Now’s the time to rewrite that narrative.

The Antidote: A No-Nonsense Check-In

You don’t have to believe everything you think.

Here’s a practical way to interrupt unhelpful thoughts:

• Name it: “That’s catastrophising.” Just naming the trap gives you distance.

• Interrogate it: What’s the evidence for and against this thought?

• Reframe it: Instead of “I always mess this up,” try “I’ve struggled with this before, but I’m learning.”

• Try an alternative: What else might be true here?

This isn’t about ignoring real problems. It’s about challenging the internal noise so you can think more clearly and act more freely.

Why It Matters

Unchecked, our thoughts can rule our lives. They shape how we feel, act, and see ourselves. Believing every negative thought can lead to avoidance, isolation, or perfectionism. But when we start to question those thoughts, even just occasionally, we begin to create space. Space for nuance, growth, and self-compassion.

I’ve seen this shift in therapy time and again. The moment someone realises, “This thought isn’t truth… it’s a habit,”  they reclaim power. That’s when change becomes possible.

Final Word: You’re Not Broken. You’re Human.

Your thoughts will lie to you sometimes. That’s not a flaw, it’s a feature of the brain trying to keep you safe. But safety isn’t always accuracy… And fear isn’t always truth!

You get to decide which thoughts you follow.

If you’re stuck in unhelpful thinking patterns and want support finding your way through, therapy can help. You don’t have to do it alone.

Want to work through this stuff with someone who gets it?

Get in touch today to explore how therapy can help you shift the stories you tell yourself, and write new ones that serve you better.