Why Routines Work (Even When You Hate Them)
A structured routine has never been something I naturally gravitated toward. Maybe it’s the years of military discipline making me resist anything that feels compulsory. Maybe it’s a stubborn streak, an instinct to push against rigidity. And yet, I know, without question, that my routines keep me steady.
Every morning, I step into ice-cold water. It’s a shock to the system, a deliberate challenge before the day begins. Then, wrapped in warmth, I sit with tea and journal, nothing elaborate, just a few lines to clear my mind before I move forward. Breakfast doesn’t happen until mid-morning; I let my body settle into the day before fuelling it. And at night, before sleep, I journal again. These small acts, repeated daily, hold me together more than I care to admit.
I don’t love structure. But I know that without these rituals, my mind drifts into chaos. And I’ve seen the same pattern in my clients, structure is often resisted, yet it’s one of the most powerful tools for mental well-being.
Why Structure Matters for Mental Health
Routine isn’t about mindless repetition, it’s about creating a framework that reduces decision fatigue, regulates emotions, and builds resilience. Without structure, every choice becomes a new problem to solve. With routine, the groundwork is already laid.
Structure Lowers Stress and Decision Fatigue
Every day, we make hundreds of decisions. What to eat, when to work, how to approach a difficult conversation. The brain can only handle so much before it starts to lag, leading to mental exhaustion, a major driver of anxiety and burnout.
When certain things are automatic, when you eat at the same time, move your body in a familiar way, or start the day with a grounding ritual, you remove unnecessary decisions, freeing up mental energy for what actually matters.
Routines Regulate the Nervous System
In my last blog, I wrote about the power of rituals. Routines and rituals overlap, both provide stability in an unpredictable world.
A consistent morning routine tells your nervous system: You are safe. You are in control. This is especially important for those with PTSD, anxiety, or ADHD, where the nervous system can feel perpetually on edge.
Ice plunging, for me, isn’t just about toughness, it’s a deliberate nervous system reset. It forces deep breathing, a moment of presence, and a sense of mastery over discomfort. Whatever chaos the day brings, I’ve already done something hard and come through it. That sets the tone.
Routines Provide Stability When Motivation Fails
People often wait for motivation to strike before taking action. But motivation is unreliable. It comes and goes, influenced by mood, weather, stress, and energy levels.
Routine removes motivation from the equation. You don’t have to feel like doing something, you just do it because it’s what you do. That’s why elite athletes train on bad days, and why people who recover from depression often credit simple, structured habits as their foundation.
I don’t always want to journal at night, but I do. Because if I skip it once, it becomes easier to skip again. And before I know it, I’ve lost an anchor that helps me process the day.
Resistance to Routine is Normal—Here’s How to Work With It
Not everyone likes structure. Some people actively resist it (I get that). Others feel trapped by it, associating routine with rigidity rather than freedom. But structure doesn’t mean suffocation, it means creating systems that support you, not constrain you, read more in ‘Calculated Risk’.
Here’s how to build a routine, even if you resist it:
Start small. A routine doesn’t have to be a full schedule. One consistent act, like drinking tea in the morning before looking at your phone, can be enough to create stability.
Link routines to existing habits. If you already make coffee every morning, use that as a cue to add a moment of journaling or a deep breath before drinking it.
Allow flexibility. Routines should support you, not punish you. If a morning workout feels impossible, swap it for a short walk later in the day. The key is consistency, not perfection.
Think in terms of non-negotiables. Some things aren’t optional, not because you have to do them, but because you know they keep you balanced. For me, the ice plunge, journaling, and late breakfast aren’t up for debate. They hold me steady.
Final Thoughts: The Discipline of Care
If you resist routine, I get it. I’ve been there. But routines aren’t about control, they’re about caring for yourself in ways that are reliable, even when everything else feels uncertain.
You don’t have to love structure. You don’t even have to want to do it. But if you’re struggling, if your mind feels chaotic, if you’re exhausted by the endless pull of distractions and demands, start small. Choose one thing. Stick with it. Let it hold you steady.
And if you need help figuring out where to start, that’s what therapy is for. Let’s build a system that works for you.